A Struggle

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I'm going to let you know right here that I just looove to make myself miserable.  I gravitate toward things I'm bad at.  Running, for example.  This body wasn't built to run, but I finished three half marathons, two 10ks and a mud run in less than two years.  Golf too.  I have terrible hand-eye coordination, but I love golf.  I even watch it on TV.  I gave up playing years ago but I always enjoyed meandering a beautiful 18 holes on a sunny day. 

Finance and business school is no different, really.  If I were to gravitate toward things I had a natural ability for, I would take courses in communication and economics.  But part of me feels that defeats the purpose.  I'm not all about taking the hardest professors, but I made the decision to complete an MBA in order to learn new things.  Things I was too intimidated during undergrad to overcome. 

Welcome to finance.  I've never been super strong in math.  I understand the concepts, but I don't particularly enjoy it so I don't spend my free time studying it.  But hey, I did really well in accounting last semester and in the fall I barreled through with a very respectable grade in quantitative analysis somehow. 

And I'm a smart girl.  In theory.  I knocked the GMAT verbal section out of the ballpark, but was less than thrilled with the math section.  It's just not my strong suit, I tell ya.  But I'm going to bschool to get a job in finance.  I get numbers. When I have time to think about it and put all the pieces together.  I like finance.  I want to know more about it.  I want to learn.  My problem right now is connecting the dots.  I understand what the professor is saying in class, but I don't take the time every weekend to go through the practice problems.  We're on chapter 13, and I haven't connected the processes yet.  Time to buckle down.  Failure isn't an option.  Not this time around. Not on my dime. 

Too add to my frustration, my marketing class has been a huge time suck.  Two hour group meetings every weekend, reading and studying for quizzes every other week, case write-ups, project research... And it wouldn't be so bad if I felt like it was going to culminate into something worthwhile.  Instead, I'm killing hours of my time with something that a) I don't care about and b) isn't amounting to anything significant.  My grade in that class is completely subjective and even though we're going into week seven, I'm convinced the professor still doesn't know my name.  How does that even happen?  Especially when I've met with him outside of class and I participate weekly.