Monday, September 13, 2010

Mona Lisa Smile Part 2

I come from a long line of trailblazers.  Fifty-five years ago my grandmother got married in a blue dress.  That sounds lame, but back then it was a big deal.  She did it to be be different.  To show that flare we rarely get to see.  Nana couldn't imagine the kind of life her granddaughter would one day be able to live.  I'm educated, well-traveled, independent, and have an active social life that includes lots of exploring and tons of great friends. 

When I moved to Los Angeles, my family was super supportive.  My cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents all gave me more than their blessing.  They never wanted anything more than for me to be successful, happy and fulfilled. None of the things that a city, a relationship, or a job can bring.  Five years later, they're shocked I'm still in Lala Land and sad I'm missing my cousins and little brother grow up.  And frankly, I'm right there with them.  While I cherish my friends, my go-go lifestyle, being able to run along the ocean, the constant sunshine and the never-ending surprises, I too miss my family. 

Life is the journey of pursuing happiness.  One rarely gets all they've ever dreamed of by the age of twenty-eight.  And how boring would that be?! God willing, I've got nearly half a dozen decades left in this life.  Heaven forbid it all make sense before I'm thirty.  But I could use a little consistency.  And maybe that's why I like school - I can control exactly how well I do and it's nothing if not routine.  And not a little bit exciting. 

Part of me thinks I should be married by now.  That a picket fence, a brood of children, a doting husband and a sparkler on my left hand would make me happy.  I see my high school and college friends pursuing all these things that make sense, but that I haven't honestly given it too much thought to until now. 

But let's face it.  If I really wanted those things in life, I would have made very different decisions for the past six years.  I could have married my college boyfriend, stayed in the Midwest or had a linear and predictable career.  Instead, I moved away.  I followed my career, learned to live on my own, and when I finally got bored I started running half marathons and applying for business school instead of joining an online dating site and learning to knit. 

So I realize this post is all over the place, but I've started and stopped it nearly a dozen times at this point.  The whole thing was going to be about how watching "Mona Lisa Smile" made me think about how expectations of females and their roles have changed so much in just two generations.  But let's face it, this is where I come to rant and write in circles an try and digest what I'm going through during this bizarre and transitional period in my life. 

1 comment:

Michael said...

OMG! While reading this I kept waiting for some big announc22ement. A move? Career? Marriage? But alsa, no annou9ncement. I remain in suspense. I can hardly wait to see your future.