Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Growing Up

I'll be the first to admit that I've been in the middle of what they call a quarter-life crisis (on and off) for the past three years.  At twenty-five, we were in the midst of the mortgage melt-down and I was about to lose my job.  I lived alone in an apartment I could barely afford, had but a few friends (most of whom regularly ignored me to spend time with their significant others) and was the heaviest I'd ever been. 

It's three years later.  And while I have great friends, am in business school, completed three half-marathons in less than two years and have a stable and usually enjoyable job, I live on my own, have put on a few pounds since I was running more regularly, and am still single.

I've learned so much about myself and done so many cool things (well I haven't really traveled like I've wanted to, but I manage to live my vacation every day) in the last three years.  Part of me has become more cynical and jaded, but I've become so much stronger, confident and comfortable in my own skin. 

I am, however, at that dreaded point in any girls life; when all her old friends get married. Because of the likes of Facebook, gone are the days when I can ignorantly (but blissfully) assume that everyone from my past is miserable, lonely, fat and single.  I mean, not that I would wish that on anyone, but I like to think that my adventurous life in California is super glamorous compared to everyone else. 

But here's the thing.  I went to a private high school and had some pretty cool friends.  The vast majority left the state to go to college and like most people of social mobility in Southeast Michigan, never returned.  They're living equally wonderful lives in places like Columbus, Milwaukee, Phoenix, Chicago and DC.  And now they're getting married and having babies while I go to school, go to bars and spend my weekends hanging out with my girl friends, studying, going to the beach and hiking. 

Obviously, I love my life.  But I can't help but wonder if I missed the boat on the whole marriage/baby thing.  I eventually want a family of my own.  I want to own a house, paint shutters, and soothe a crying baby.  Have I missed my opportunity for that?  Is my window closing on this kind of thing?  I try not to be in the habit of comparing my life to others, but when everyone else is doing something, it seems hard not to.

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