Thursday, November 5, 2009

Stuck

In less than a year and a half, I was laid off twice, for a total of seven months.  And I haven't had a raise of any sort since I started in commercial real estate over two years ago.  I know I should be grateful I have a job that I am in no threat of losing and one that I enjoy going to everyday at that.  It's just that life keeps getting more expensive - my flight from LAX to Detroit this Christmas cost me more than my couch or my computer - and I'm not moving upward or onward.  For crying out loud, I had a better job title and my own business cards when I was 24 (for those of you at home keeping score, that was three and half years ago). 

Then there's all the student loan debt I'm taking on. There's no way I'd ever be able to afford those payments on the salary I earn now.  I realize that I'm getting my MBA in order to make more money, and that this particular graduate degree has one of the highest ROI's, save for an MD, DDS, or JD. 

Now the point of this post is not to point out that I don't make gobs of money.  But that I sometimes have a hard time seeing the forest through the trees. It's hard to have faith that the dream of a life that I work so hard to achieve, will one day come true. 

Nobody is promised anything in life, not even the guarantee that we will see the light of another day.  I am grateful to have the wonderful friends and family that I do. That I can pay my bills, buy Christmas presents, and go out on the town when I don't have my head in the books.  Life isn't about money in the bank, or owning a home, or a having a perfect nuclear family - we all have to make our own story with it's own timeline. 

One of my favorite quotes is: "Live the life you've always imagined.  Go in the direction of your dreams."  Sometimes, I just don't feel like I'm going anywhere.  I'm been at my job for over six months now, the roomie and I have lived in the same (super cute) house for two years... It's ironic how finally taking my GMAT and getting into bschool was such a big deal just a few months ago.  Now that it's such an itegral part of my life, I take it for granted.  I forget that what I'm doing is pretty huge -  it's definitely changing my life's course for the better.  It's hard work and it's what I've always wanted.   I really need to keep it all in perspective and remember that life is constantly changing.  As my wise mother always says: "Enjoy the journey". 

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